A Wedding Planner Plans Her Wedding
Ceremony Magazine published our article “The Wedding Planner Plans Her Wedding.” The idea for the article came around when I was speaking with my friend about my impending wedding, when I realized that since becoming engaged, my perspective on brides and the different feelings or stresses they feel has completely changed. I started working with my publicist to put down the advice that I could give brides from the perspective of wedding planner turned bride. This article is a inside look at not only the wedding planners mind, but how to best relate the things that are important to a bride in this time of transition. You could read the full article below…enjoy!
As a wedding coordinator, I have always tried to assist the bride with all of her dilemmas. I would console, fix, assist, coordinate, and style every aspect of a wedding. Answers were simple and always ready, and the focus was always on the bride.
When my fiancé, Albert, asked me to marry him, my focus for what’s important in a wedding changed.
After He Pops the Question
When I first got engaged, I was overwhelmed. I felt like I had to make choices or have answers right away. I also felt giddy every time I looked down at my ring. At the same time, I wasn’t sure how to tell people. You don’t know how, when or what, but you’re supposed to give them answers.
Advice: It’s a slow and important process, so take your time. Don’t expect to know your wedding date, colors, and all the little details right away.
Your New Title
I would smile every time I said fiancé; at times I would even forget. I was proud every time he introduced me as his future wife.
Advice: “Try to view the title ‘fiancé’ in an adventurous way,” advises Rosanne Hoang, a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. “You only get to have that title for a very short period in your life, so make sure to say it proudly.”
Family Traditions
Surprisingly both of our families have been fairly hands-off. However, it’s really important to us that our family traditions are incorporated into the wedding.
Advice: “Make a priority list of what is most important,” said Hoang. “Check in with both sides of the family and see if there are any cultural or religious ‘musts.’ It may require some creative thinking, or interpretations; see if there is a possibility to fit all of it in.”
Planning Stress
There are so many things that a bride has to think about: the size of the wedding, the budget, keeping the family organized, finding time alone together. But there are also the expectations people have, especially for an event coordinator. My wedding is expected to be a lavish affair, when in reality we hope to keep an intimate feel.
Advice: Hoang gives some key aspects to make all stress minimal: Keep lines of communication open, delegate some work to others, try to identify the root of the stress, and make time to get away and NOT think about it.
Emotional Process
I thought it would be easy to make all of these bridal decisions because I already knew the planning process. But now, it’s different. It’s not just a wedding any more, but a feeling. The wedding is so much more personal and emotional.
Advice: It’s no longer about the napkin colors or the food, but about the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with and how you’re going to celebrate that love.
Enjoy the Moment
As a wedding coordinator, it’s not easy dealing with all bridal dilemmas. It comes with the job. Based on my observation of clients, and being a bride myself, the engagement and planning should be fun, because it goes by fast.
Advice: Enjoy the wedding planning, and don’t let it overwhelm you. Remember that at the end of the day, you’ll get to spend the rest of your life with the one you love… and that’s what’s important.
Photos by Caroline Tran (our wedding photographer)
Post Published on January 25, 2010.
